Recent Blog Posts
Making Uncontested Divorce Work for You
There is little question that divorce can be a messy, often traumatic process. Unresolved anger and fear of an uncertain future can lead to a long, drawn-out proceeding that costs both spouses significant time, money, and energy. In many cases, a bitter, contentious divorce can destroy what was once a loving relationship, making it nearly impossible for the parties to even be in the same room for years into the future.
Your divorce, however, does not need to be this way. In fact, with a little work and the right attitude, you might find that an uncontested divorce will provide an opportunity to move forward with your lives more quickly and at much less expense.
Amicable or Uncontested Divorce
Sometimes referred to as an amicable divorce, an uncontested divorce is one that does not require the court to get involved in settling differences or ruling on issues between the spouses. Instead, the couple is able to reach a workable agreement regarding all of the necessary considerations, including:
Help Your Children Enjoy the Holidays in Two Homes
The winter holiday season, for many families, begins with the celebration of Thanksgiving and continues through the month of December into the beginning of January. While the holidays are often filled with fun, food, and extended family, they can be particularly challenging for divorced parents as they try to keep their children involved in all of the festivities. If you share custody of your child with your former partner, there are some things that you can do to help make the winter holidays more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Be Prepared
If your parenting agreement does not already specify where your child will spend each holiday, you will need to make arrangements with the other parent as soon as possible. Do not wait until the very last minute. Give your child something to look forward to, and provide enough lead time for you and your child’s other parent to plan for the holiday accordingly.
The Dangers of Parental Alienation
Divorce is a painful process for the families who go through it. Children can especially be affected, as their entire world is changing. During or after a divorce, it is difficult for many to hold their tongues regarding their ex-spouses, and a parent may be tempted to make a snide remark about their former partner. Such emotions are understandable and even tolerable, to a small extent, but in extreme cases, a vindictive parent directly attempts to alienate a child from the other parent. This is called parental alienation, and it can create serious problems for both the child and the offending parent.
Parental alienation often includes manipulative or destructive behavior on the part of the adult and is meant to weaken or break the relationship between the child and his or her other parent. A father telling his children lies about the mother so that they will prefer staying at his house would be an example of parental alienation. It could also involve a mother who refuses to let her children see their father by falsely claiming he does not want to be a part of their lives. When a parent tries to change a child’s perception of the other parent in an unethical way, parental alienation is occurring. This manipulative behavior is also sometimes referred to as “aggressive hostile parenting,” and it is seen by many experts as a form of emotional abuse.
Divorced Parents Should Start Making Holiday Custody Plans Now
The calendar has flipped over to November, which means that the winter holiday season is fast approaching. Starting with Thanksgiving later this month, many families will celebrate several holidays over the weeks that follow, possibly including the Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and New Year's Eve/New Year's Day.
Planning your celebrations is difficult enough for any family, but it can be especially challenging if you share custody of your children with your ex-spouse. With this in mind, it is important to know what your custody agreement says and to begin making arrangements now so that your children can make the most of this year's holiday season.
Review Your Established Holiday Custody Schedule
If you and your co-parent have already established a holiday custody schedule, the first step is to review it to make sure that it is still accurate and up to date. You may find that your overall situation has changed since you originally created it, or that your family’s holiday plans have changed. If any changes need to be made, talk to your co-parent about them as soon as possible so that you can come to an agreement.
What to Do When Your Spouse is Reluctant to Divorce
If you are considering divorcing your spouse but they are reluctant to end the marriage, you may be wondering what to do. The truth is, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Every divorce is different, and therefore the best course of action will vary from couple to couple. However, there are some general tips that can help make the process go more smoothly. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
Evaluate Your Reasons for Wanting a Divorce
Before you take any further steps, it is important to sit down and evaluate your reasons for wanting a divorce. Are you certain that this is what you want? Are there any other options? What are your long-term goals? Once you have a clear understanding of why you want a divorce, you will be in a better position to explain your decision to your spouse. This can help them understand where you are coming from and potentially make them more receptive to the idea of ending the marriage.
Five Tips for Talking to Your Children About Your Divorce
If you are considering a divorce or you have already started the divorce process, you may be wondering how to tell your children. While this is a difficult conversation to have, there are some things you can do to make it a little easier. Here are a few tips on how to talk to your children about your divorce.
1. Make Sure You Are Both on the Same Page
Before you have the conversation with your children, make sure you and your spouse are on the same page about what you are going to say. You should both be in agreement about the key points you want to communicate to your children. This will help the conversation go more smoothly and help reduce any confusion or anxiety on the part of your children.
2. Keep Things Simple and Age-Appropriate
When you are talking to your children about your divorce, try to keep your explanation simple. They are likely already feeling confused and overwhelmed, so avoid using complicated legal jargon or getting into too many details. Just let them know that you and their other parent have decided to divorce and that they will still see both of you. It is also a good idea to speak in a way that your children will understand based on their ages and maturity levels.
Do Not Let Divorce Ruin Your Credit
Going through a divorce is undoubtedly one of the most emotionally draining situations many people have to face. At this difficult time, it is vitally important to be aware of the negative impact this emotional upheaval can have on personal finances. While working through your divorce, it is necessary to take responsibility for safeguarding your personal finances and credit score.
Good Credit Is Crucial
For spouses who have not been responsible for paying the bills during their marriages, the transition to successfully managing their personal finances can be challenging. If this describes your situation, it is important to get an overall understanding of their finances so that you can make smart decisions going forward.
One important area of focus involves your personal credit score. Everyone has their own credit score assigned to them by the credit reporting agencies, regardless of if they are single or married. However, for married people, depending on how the couple’s credit and loan accounts were set up and maintained, a person’s individual credit score may be substantially different from their spouse’s.
Four Tips for Making Divorce Faster and Easier
If you have decided that you are going to pursue a divorce, there is nothing to be gained by dragging your feet or delaying the inevitable. Getting divorced will not be easy, but it does not need to take many months—all while you have put your life on hold. In many situations, you might be able to get through the entire divorce process in just a few short weeks, but if you hope to do so, you and your spouse will need to work together. Let’s look at a few things that you can do to expedite your divorce.
1. Create a Plan
One of the best ways to eliminate unnecessary delays in your divorce is to work through as many of the relevant issues as you are able to with your spouse. The two of you will probably not agree on every concern, so start with the little things. If you are not really worried about keeping certain items or assets, for example, reach an agreement on those, then use the cooperative momentum to work on more difficult matters. Once you get the ball rolling, you will find it easier to live up to your decision to complete your divorce amicably.
Asking Your Future Spouse for a Prenuptial Agreement
Prenuptial agreements have largely gotten a bad reputation over the last few decades—a reputation that they do not really deserve. Stories about outrageous celebrity marriages which seem doomed to fail are often where many first hear the term. However, prenuptial agreements are a tool which can be valuable for anyone. You do not need to be rich or a celebrity to benefit from a prenup.
If you have decided that you want to sign a prenuptial agreement with your future spouse before tying the knot, you may be unsure of how to bring up the conversation. Here are a few things to consider.
Benefits of a Prenup
A prenuptial agreement is a legally binding document which establishes the property and financial rights of each spouse in the event of a divorce. For example, a prenup can protect your family-owned business, ensure inheritance rights for children of a previous marriage, prevent one spouse from acquiring the debt of another, protect each spouse’s financial interests, and more.
4 Social Media Mistakes to Avoid During Your Divorce
Most of us are rarely, if ever, more than just a few feet from our mobile devices. For some people, social media outlets such as Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook are an important way to share their lives with their friends and acquaintances. Social media critics, including many mental health professionals and relationship experts, believe that the image of ourselves that we portray on social media is essentially an idealized version that was created for the public—a version that generally downplays the struggles of life and only highlights “perfect” photos and positive achievements.
Social media use can also cause problems during a divorce. Such problems could directly affect the legal proceedings, while others might slow your healing process and keep you from moving on with your life. If you are thinking about filing for divorce or the process has already begun, be sure to avoid the following behaviors on social media.